EXposing the Groom, a romantic comedy with a side of rockstar by Rachel Van Dyken, is releasing May 19!
🎤🐢𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸:
Bite your tongue. Bite your tongue. Oh the good Lord (if he’s real) will bless me for this one, he shall bless me with thousands of free dollars at Nordstrom, a yacht, ten men. Zac Efron, Austin Butler, Jungkook, Keanu Reeves, Yunxi Luo, Dylan Wang, Channing Tatum, Timothee Chalamet, John Boyega, and Tom Hardy.
🎤🐢𝗣𝗿𝗲-𝗢𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆. 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝟵!
Read on Amazon or 🆓 with #KindleUnlimited
𝗞𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗸𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗮𝗸𝗲-𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗱. 𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿? 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝗻 #𝟭 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝙔𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙏𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿 𝗥𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗹 𝗩𝗮𝗻 𝗗𝘆𝗸𝗲𝗻’𝘀 𝗘𝗫𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺, 𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗸𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿.
𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱:
An accidental phone grab during my rehearsal dinner while my fiancé went to use the restroom.
𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝘁 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱:
Reading all the dirty texts between him and my maid of honor, aka little sister, during our vows in front of the world in what would later be considered one of the most viral wedding videos on TikTok.
Of. All. Time.
Did I mention his vows were before mine, and he compared me to my adopted dog because… and I quote, “I’m so loyal.”
It’s not my fault that my first instinct, after exposing his dirty lies, was to run up to the clueless rockstar that was supposed to headline my reception and ask him to sing my tears away. I never expected him to help me escape certain disaster, kiss me senseless, and then buy me ice cream.
But that was all in the past—until I’m staring down at a wedding invitation from the crappy little crap pants ex. You see, he swapped sisters, and now a year later, they’re getting married at a gorgeous winery while I’m still staring down at a plus one, wondering if I can bring my pet turtle.
𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱:
In desperation, I sent a drunken text to the hot rockstar with a picture of my turtle, Chuck Norris… in a bowtie. Who knew he would show up at the wedding—but get this, it wasn’t to save me, nope, it was to… yup, SING!
SHE STOLE HIM TOO!
But now that he’s there and I’m there, and the history is there, I beg him one more time to save me, this time as my date.
But lie after lie just kept pouring out of my mouth until we were somehow fake-engaged.
I would laugh if crying didn’t feel so good.
Should have brought the freaking turtle…